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Ghost of jobs past: Crazy documents from HR/Accounting

A few years ago I started a company to do some website building (gvs). When it was just me we didn't have any "HR" or "Accounting" process really because it was...just me. Our project process was really messy and I didn't necessarily bill hourly, nor flat fee, nor...whatever. Now we're a little more serious. We've got serious benefits, it's a team of 5 people, we do pretty solid work for a lot of different top tier companies.

That said, I found these two documents as I went through some old files today. These are from a company I worked in 7 years ago that was a startup, but had some serious "process" so they could feel like they were a real company. GVS is not now and probably never will be this kind of "serious."

equipment checkout list

holiday schedule for 2002, with clipart

I mean seriously. Look at how much time must have been wasted on that. And I get that a "holiday" list without some sense of design input is just plain depressing, but I don't think the clipart really got anyone into a festive mood.

Also, they printed out copies of these for everyone in the company. Seriously? That was a good idea? Why not build a simple intranet to track this kind of stuff. I guess in 2003 that tools for building websites were not quite as point-and-click easy as they are now, but it's still depressing to me that I accepted a printed copy of this as "business as usual" without offering to build the intranet in my spare time...

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That looks like a 3rd grade teacher was in charge

Too funny! That looks like a 3rd grade teacher was in charge of distributing the knowledge.

So what you're saying is that GVS will never have giant "Welcome" packets for new employees, including printed employee directories?

Corporate intranets have been around at least 14 years now ... though I'm sure this kind of waste still happens.

Now you're really in trouble

It has come to our attention that you are violating the NDA agreement you signed when you began your employment with Connex Technologies Inc.

I am advising you to remove these images of intellectual property belonging to my client, or I will be forced to replace your web browser with IE6.

Alan Smithee