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How to write an email to piss off your developer

I'm writing this so other developers can share in the laughter (ha!) and designers/managers can learn.

I've seen this a few times. It feels like there's a mad-libs form that designers/managers use to communicate things in a software project.

Hey:

$normal_behavior_of_our_product_for_the_past_year, $insulting_phrase, $client_need_never_mentioned_before_this_month, $high_stress!!!!!

Thanks,
$designer_or_manager

So, an example letter:

Hey:

I tried changing my password and instead of sending me a new password via email the system sent me a link to a place to change it. This is backwards! No systems work like that. We're about to roll this product out for Wonka Inc. and I'm sure they will kill us for this. Please don't sleep until this is fixed.!!!!!

Thanks,
Manager

Advice to managers/designers/people who write these emails

Here's how to actually handle this:

  1. Verify that the decision maker and end-users at client will actually think this is a problem
  2. Add a new task to your issue tracker
  3. You can even make it critical
  4. Have reasonable expectations about when it will get fixed - sure, you can move it to the front of the queue, but it's still in the queue.
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